10 tips to help you love yourself more

Self love, it’s something you see a lot of people talking about these days. On social media I see lots of messages about self love. Or is it me? Is it because I've been focussing on that? That’s also possible of course. But still I’d really love to talk to you about this, because I think it’s so important!

Self love… Maybe you say “Of course I love myself”, which is awesome! Or maybe you say “Of course I don’t love myself”, which is… not so awesome… Lovely, please know that you too are worth loving. You too are worth loving yourself! Everyone is! So are you! With all your flaws and everything! The way you are now!

Don't judge yourself

Don’t worry about things you did or didn’t do in the past that don’t make you feel happy about yourself. Probably at the time it seemed the best choice. Now you see things differently, but then you didn’t. So don’t judge yourself! You did what seemed right. You always do. Look forward, don’t look back. Choose to love yourself, you’re worth it!

"I'm not a monster"

Do I love myself fully and completely? I’m going to be honest with you: I’m working on it. I notice myself criticising things I did, or didn’t do. Or that day when I was angry at my daughter and when I drove to work I was saying to myself “I’m a monster”. I was aware of it, and tried to stop it, so it went like this: “I’m a monster! No I’m not! I’m a monster! I’m NOT a monster! I’m a monster! I’m not!”. Until I decided to focus on something else and forgot about my monster feelings about myself.

So yes, I do get better at it every day. Because I don’t let my mind take me in a downward spiral about myself anymore. I stop it every time! Because I’m very aware of it. And I’m very aware that my thoughts create my reality. When you think negative thoughts about yourself the Universe will send you proof. So you'll have situations that make you think things like: “You see, I’m not good enough” or “I was right, I’m not up to it”, or whatever thought you were already having about yourself. I had that too. And I chose to change that.

The laws of the Universe are very consistent and always deliver proof of your own thoughts. So if you’d like to change your reality, you have to change your thoughts. And the best way to start is with the thoughts about yourself.

10 things you can do to love yourself more

Of course changing your thougths about yourself is not the only thing you can do to help you love yourself more. Here’s my top 10 things you can do that will help you love yourself more, so you have some inspiration to start with!

1 - Stop negative thoughts about yourself - Like I stopped my monster thoughts by focussing on something else. You can do this too!

2 - Think positive thoughts about yourself - I’m sure you can find many positive, nice & beautiful things about you! Make a list of the things you appreciate about yourself and keep it in a place you can easily find it to look at it. It's time you start seeing the beautiful person and soul that you are!

3 - Choose to do things that make you happy - These can be really small things, like listening to uplifting music, meditating for 5 minutes, going for a walk in the park. Or they can be big things of course, but don't let the thought of choosing something big stop you. Start small! The smaller things are often much easier to implement in your daily life, so go for it!

4 - Take some me-time regularly - No, it's not always easy, but it's necessary! And you don't have to go to the spa or have hours for yourself! Start by doing small things that take you only a few minutes. Like enjoying your coffee or tea while it's still warm, and taking a few minutes to enjoy it. 

5 - Be kind to yourself - Talk to yourself like you would to a friend. Say kind things to yourself when you're feeling down. Don't beat yourself up and don't judge yourself.

6 - Ask for help if you need it - You don’t have to do everything on your own! It's really OK to ask for help. It's not weak and it's super good self-care!

7 - Allow yourself to be lazy sometimes (and enjoy it!) - Being lazy is not a bad thing! You need time to recharge sometimes. So take that book and sit down on the sofa with your favorite tea and relax. The laundry can wait, that grocery list can wait, your to-do list can wait. Your health and well-being cannot wait. Take care of yourself by allowing yourself to be lazy every now and then.

8 - Write yourself a love letter - Say all the things to yourself you wish someone else told you. Don't wait for someone else to say them to you! Write how awesome you are, even if you don't feel it yet. When you'll read the, you'll feel someone loves you and finds you amazing. And you'll slowly start to realize that someone is you!

9 - Write, read, or listen to affirmations about loving yourself - Make them positive! Write about what you want, not about what you don't want. And write them in a way that feels good to you. It works better if you believe what it says. After a while you can change them again. You can write things like "I love myself" or "I am open to loving myself". 

10 - Put sticky notes with sweet messages to yourself everywhere - Put them where in different places in your house where you can see them very often. For example “I love you”, “Have a wonderful day”, “Good morning gorgeous”. You can write anything you want, as long as it makes you happy when you see it!

Of course I would also advice you to listen to a meditation about loving yourself or a meditation that will help you relax & let go, like the meditations in my free package AIR (that you can download here).

If you start doing those things, or only a couple of them, maybe just starting with one, over time you’ll notice that the universe is being kinder to you. More loving. Well, the universe is always loving to you, but when it brings you shitty things you won’t experience it that way. You might think the universe is against you, which of course it’s not. It’s never against you, always with you. So when you start being more loving and more kind to yourself, the universe will bring you more of that. Little by little you’ll get better at it and you’ll experience more and more magic in your life. Because that’s what loving yourself does, create more magic in your life.

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